Happy Mouth!!

Let me tell ya... it's been a REALLY long time since I had a nice hard tool in my mouth. The rythmic up-down, in-out motions made my mouth salivate like a hungry dog staring at a piece of roasted ham. At times, it was gentle and at other times, it wasn't so gentle. I had my mouth wide open and I was still told to open it wider for more comfort room. The whole episode lasted for about 15 minutes or so. I don't know if that's considered a long time or not, but I was a good boy and obeyed every command. So... in and out it went... up and down it went... I didn't gag either. Surprisingly... no gagging... it wasn't small either... at least a good 6 inches. And no, I didn't take it all in... give or take about 3 inches. After all that, I didn't swallow either.

I thought it would just be wrong to swallow... I mean, afterall, we just met. Swallowing might imply too much intimacy... not to mention I have to take into consideration my own health. So... I ended up spitting at the end and rinsing my mouth with diluted minty Listerin several times to get the remaining residue out. Besides, I was actually asked to spit after it was all said and done. The doctor was obviously concerned as well.

It's been a long 5 to 6 years since my last dental appointment. I wouldn't have gone if it wasn't for my Harry Potter luck from Tuesday. The dentist's assistant took 18 x-rays of my teeth... 18. How many dimensions can there be of a single tooth??? Well, apparently there can be a lot. After examining my x-rays, "no cavities", she said. Yeah, "she", her name is "Lisa"... bummer. Dr. Lisa is short... like 5 feet tall or less? So, after the x-ray, she gave me a good cleaning and asked me to spit and rinse.

All throughout the ordeal, I was actually tense. Afterall, I felt like a virgin again after 5-6 years. With my mouth wide open and receiving all the different toys she had laid out next to me, I felt so vulnerable and taken advantage of. I don't remember the last time I had someone check my mouth out or finger my mouth like that. She and her she-assistant just kept probing away at me until I felt a tear start to form at the corner of my eye.

"Tell me if it hurts."
"ouch...", I said timidly.
"oh, I'm sorry.."
"ouch..."
"Okay, how's that?"
"okay..."

Now, I feel like a clean man again... as I left the room, the she-assistant handed me a little gift bag.

"Remember, use protection. Use flouride rinse for two weeks. You can pick it up at any pharmacy. It'll lessen the pain next time." Okay... alright, that's not how she said it. I just paraphrased...

Here's the brochure that led me to a happier and cleaner mouth. :) A happy mouth.