My Wooden Boat

After the AIDS walk and a late lunch this past Sunday, a few of us headed back to DS's apartment to just relax and to watch a bootlegged version of Blades of Glory (didn't play on the DVD player). When we got there, we took turns washing our sticky and greasy faces from the sweat of our long 6.2 mile walk. The day turned out to be beautiful despite the weatherman's predictions of scattered T-storms.

After refreshing ourselves, we all gravitated to the piano as KM delicately experimented with the keys to play out his "in-the-moment" feelings. DS laid on his bed to nap, HC leaned against the bedroom doorway, poised to sing her inner soul, and I laid on the floor with my eyes closed to skate in my mind to the flowing melodies.

My freestyle skating meandered between deep sensous edges to exploding jumps as the keys dictated the moves. My edges became more and more connected to the inner me as KM played "The Years Flow Like Water" by Anita Mui. The gentle chords played pucked a softer more gentle note in me. The choreography transitioned from freestyle to a more orchestrated dance with lyrical arms, arching shoulders, deep contemplating edges, and an expression of deep divided thoughts. The skate was in front of an unseen, unheard, and unfelt audience; against a black backdrop. I was the focus of one spotlight. Noticed, but unnoticed... it was a personal skate - understood by one and interpreted by none. Finally, with the last of the keys stroked, the skating edge swiveled into a slow silent stop, drawing the memories of past applauds.

---

Here's a link to the lyrics in traditional characters, a sample of the song, and the Cantonese lyrics in romanized phonetics.

I found an English translation of the lyrics on the Internet. I don't know how accurate it is since I can't read Chinese. But comparing it to KM's translation, it is pretty close.

<<
Looking at the sea with weariness
I don’t cry, I don’t complain
I look at the sky, I only feel conflicted
My heart, like a small wooden boat, cannot see far
Still it moves forward
Who punishes me in this life?
I struggle everyday in the sea of people
I feel regret in my heart
The years flow like water, I can’t keep yesterday
I can only keep the memories
One by one, in my mind forever
In this world, I miss and miss the olden years
My appearance has already changed
My circumstance too, but my feelings remain
>>

Walking for Sly

The New York AIDS walk event in Central Park is this coming Sunday! So far I have managed to be in it for the past 10 years or so? I started in college as part of my fraternity's service event and continued each year to help raise awareness and money for research. I've always walked in this event because my godfather in Switzerland is HIV+. He's been positive for as long as I have known him. He is doing really well and his virus levels are below detectable. He always says that it's a miracle for him and that he never knew that he would live so long. I guess God does keep watch over good hearted people. :)

This year, I have an additional reason to walk. I'll be walking for Sylvester. He didn't die because of FIV (a cat's version of HIV). Sly passed away due to kidney failure that was partially due to old age (70+ cat years, 14+ human) and partially due to diabetes. This year's walk falls on his 7th month anniversary of his passing. I miss you Sylvester. I just spent a good 5 minutes at work looking at his now famous sneaker photo. :) *HUGS*

Well... I think this year is the most successful fund raising year ever! So far Team Sylvester raised $1,160!!! MC a team member raised $535, HC raised $175, KM raised $25, and I raised $425!!! I think MC beat me out because he knows a lot more "rich" folks... LOL...!! In any case, I thank all those who donated and who are joining me for the walk this Sunday. Team Sylvester has a group of 8+ people walking... some donated but are too lazy to wake up early for the walk. :) It's their lost since there will be plenty of snacks on the way!!! Yippie! And oh... we also have a puppy walking with us this year, her name is Mimi and she is a Yorkie... :)

During the walk, we are like college freshman scavengers constantly looking for the next snack stand to raid. LOL...!! It's all part of the fun! I hope the weather will be nice and warm. Maybe I'll spot a hunk or two along the way. ;)

In any case... play hard, but play safe. :) Peace out and see you Sunday!

"Untitled"

I just started writing this blog out of no where. I don't like how it sounds or how it went, but I publish everything that I write. So, to mark its shortcomings, I leave this blog as "Untitled". I will have better days. I'm currently hoping to publish a short story in the works -- soon. =T


Untitled

Three months and three days
A second anniversary it'll be
Where land separates
Like the parting sea

With the winds beneath your wings
You flew
Into an embrace you hardly knew

Three thousand JBlue miles
Three trailing hours
Two lives joined
Two common smiles

Three cantaloupe vines perished
Two lives cherished
One wine bottle found
A story told without a sound

One month and five days
One life still in disarray
A sixth you'll claim
Hardly, it was one - what shame

Window Guards

Here I am sitting at my desk after a team meeting, I looked out "my" window and I see a carpenter installing window guards on four windows in the new luxury condo building across the street from the New York Stock Exchange.

The four pearly white window guards resemble white wooden fences at a stable. Instead of keeping the horses in, they will serve to keep the children in. So pearly white... I want window guards too... well, for my kids if I had any. I used to have window guards too when I was a kid. My window guards were black. They resembled prison bars. We were already the luckier kids in our multi-building project complex. Some of the older surrounding buildings had cheaper green lead painted windows. Those windows didn't require window guards because they opened inwards like a mailbox slot, but only about 5 inches.

Looking at those pearly white window guards, I can't help but think that the kids that would live there must be spoiled. Even their window guards serve as decorative fixtures. Another kid in the "older" building across the street from it watches Dora the Explorer everyday. I sometimes watch it with him/her too. I can see the TV from "my" window quite clearly. Sigh... a corner apartment in a high rise building across the street from the New York Stock Exchange. His/Her daddy/mommy must be so loaded.

I wonder if my kids would ever live in a corner apartment, in a high rise building, with white window guards.

Too Butch

I'm too butch to be gay.

To think of it... I'm butch like some lesbians. I don't like my boobies hanging out (thank God that I don't have b*tch tits), but I do like the feel of having a power tool in my hands. Hoo la la...!

For the past five months I've been renovating my studio apartment with a friend's help. It all started with a major leak in the bathroom that lasted for three days. The leak originated from the third floor and I'm on the first. At the end of day one, I had a hole as big as my fist. At the end of day three, the hole was big enough for me to fit through to the apartment above. Of course, no one wanted to claim responsibility for the damage done to my unit. The management company blamed the third floor tenant and the tenant blamed the management company... and all the while the super managed to not return my phone calls and ignored my repair orders submitted. Finally, three weeks after the closing/leak (day after the closing), the ceiling was ripped out and replaced by the super.

After the new ceiling was installed in the bathroom, I called in a contractor to do some work... you must be thinking, "How's that butch?? Calling a contractor??" Well, I can't do ALL the work, besides it'll take forever. What I did do was rip out the ancient kitchen cabinets and all the floor moulding and trimmings. I also installed new hardwood birch floors on top of the old hardwood floors in the living room. I assembled all the new IKEA kitchen cabinets, installed all the lighting fixtures, plastered all the uneven walls, cracked ceilings, water damaged walls, updated some electrical wiring, installed wall shelving, installed mirrors, and not to mention there's still plenty left to do. This weekend I plan to install a wine shelf, a kitchen peninsula, a new peep hole/bell combination on my apartment door, more plastering, and painting of course.

Let me tell ya... all the lotion in the world isn't enough for my roughed up hands... eekkk!! Good thing that my gay self always remembered to lubricate my hands after a rough day's work with lesbian tools... no, not that kind... I yet have to experience it or the real thing for that matter... extra lube please. (Any takers?)

In any case, I think I would make an excellent carpenter. I used to love my wood shop class where I made a recipe box for my sister (gay), a letter holder for my mom (gay), a towel holder (semi-gay), and a working lamp for myself (sooo gay). Gosh... all my workshop projects are so -- gay. hmmm... That makes me wonder about my wood shop teacher Mr. Molter. >:T

Anyway, the point is, I enjoy working with tools... I even bought myself a power screw driver for this past Christmas. :P My best friend... especially when I had to assemble all my furniture from IKEA.... actually, my best friend is my Black & Decker power drill with a sh*t load of drill bits for every occasion under the sun. I even have duplicates of the same size bits. A word of advice... avoid the cheap "Made in China" bits... they rust and come in a cheap case. I would opt for the nicer higher end bits from DeWalt. Also, make sure you have an extra long heavy duty power extension cord for those out of reach places.

So... what happened to my more "feminine" side?? It's always been there. I designed my own kitchen from scratch using software. After all, I cook - now that's gay. I made sure I selected a color palette that flowed and matched my appliances and utensils -- all the way down to my place mats and seat cushions. I also made sure that there was an overall "modern/Asian/sophisticated" theme... or so I tried... I still sometimes think that my gay eye gene is defective when it comes to coordinating colors and furnishings... oh well, I can only say that I tried to stay true to my recessive gay design genes.

Sigh... five months later, I still have a work in progress in my hands... maybe I like the feel of a powerful tool in my hands too much... hence, the extended pleasure of delaying the explosive gratification until the very finale. Take that for a climax! Power tools rule baby!