From a Distance

During lunch today, I took a walk to Battery Park and sat in front of the waters watching Lady Liberty from a distance... thinking about things. I was mostly thinking of significant others who departed me in life. When I say "significant others", I am not just referring to our partners in life and when I say "departed", I don't necessarily mean physically either.

A co-worker of mine and I were talking about how sometimes we get a strange vibe that a significant other is there, but really isn't. He was telling me how he was in the kitchen at home over the weekend and could have sworn his ex-wife was about to walk through the front door of his new apartment. He dropped the dishes he was washing and started to get teary eyed.

When Sylvester passed away, my roommate and I both shared weird experiences where we could have sworn that Sylvester was brushing up against us when we were in the dining area. I also kept on "seeing" Sylvester laying on the sofa from the corner of my eye. I even occasionally "heard" him outside my bedroom door.

I guess one way we know who are dear to us is when we think about them daily, regardless if we talk to them on a regular basis. I dream of my significant others often. Often these dreams are happy dreams and sometimes they involve fulfilled desires that never occurred in reality. Weird isn't it? I sometimes see dreams as an extension of reality. Scary as it may be, but haven't you ever woke up from a dream feeling overwhelmed before... as if it really did happen?

Sometimes my dreams of my significant others drive me to want to be closer to them, but that is also where it can be quite emotionally damaging; at least for me. The non-mutual response can be a real downer. I have many significant others in life, not all of them know it or feel the same. I guess it is hard not to wonder why others may not feel the same when you have exceedingly expressed so. Life works its wonders in mysterious illogical ways that are not meant to be understood, but experienced in its multi-facets.

I guess the point of this blog... I actually didn't have one when I started writing... is to value your significant others when they are still around, else you too will be "watching" them like I watched Lady Liberty from a distance.

LTS - The Sphere

Lunch Time Series - "The Sphere"

Welcome to the first edition of LTS! I decided to start LTS as a way to motivate myself to leave the office for a short walk around town during my brief lunch break. I also thought it was a great way for me to see NYC from the eye of a tourist. Did I ever tell you that I asked a tourist where the subway station was? She looked at me in disbelief and answered in broken English as she pointed in a direction that she came from. Yes... I have no sense of direction.

Today... I take you on a tour of "The Sphere" (aka "Great Spherical Caryatid"). "The Sphere" is a magnificent piece of artwork by the German artist Fritz Koenig. "The Sphere" is currently on display in Battery Park since March 11, 2002, but it's original home was Austin Tobin Plaza of the World Trade Center. "The Sphere" represented world peace through world trade; hence the original location and the installation of it when the World Trade Towers were opened.

When "The Sphere" was still located at the WTC, it sat in the center of a ring of water fountains. The ring of fountains was the design of architect Minosoru Yamasaki and the surrounding decorative artwork was designed to mimic the grace of the Grand Mosque of Mecca; in which "The Sphere" stood in place of Kaaba. "The Sphere" was set to rotate once every 24 hours and served as a favorite sitting area for downtown office workers during lunch time. I too sat near these beautiful fountains for lunch.

The crashing of the planes and the final collapse of the two towers sent debris hurling into "The Sphere" and destroyed a top portion of it. When "The Sphere" was recovered from the pile of rubble, an airplane seat and a copy of a Bible was found inside of the hollow center. "The Sphere" was originally a sculpture and now it is a monument in remembrance of 9/11.

Isn't it ironic how a symbol of world peace became a casualty of an act of war and decorative design work borrowed from the Muslim world became a target of a few Muslim fundamentalists?

The discovery of a copy of a Bible inside the torn "Sphere" is such a strong symbol to me. With every challenge in life, God is there.

With peace and love, I present you "The Sphere". Come to NYC to see it. I will be looking for you for subway directions! :)

Enjoy... and may "The Sphere" remind you the importance of love and tolerance. Amen.

"The Sphere" - Post 9/11

Click here for a picture of "The Sphere" Pre-9/11

Come back again for another Lunch Time Series Attraction!

Stoic

Stoic. "Stone like in appearance. Unemotional. Unfeeling." That's my definition of "stoic". Before making a fool of myself on my own blog, if I haven't already, I decided to look up the word before using it as the title of this blog. I looked it up at dictionary.com and I was surprised to find out that it has more than just a meaning of "unfeeling". It is actually a term used to describe disciples of Zeno, a Greek philosopher from 308 BC, who founded the "Stoic School of Philosophy". Zeno taught people to "be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submit without complaint to unavoidable necessity". (dictionary.com)

I think I chose the perfect word to describe myself. I feel stoic these days. Did I use the word right? (Damn those SATs...)

I don't know how to analyze my inner feelings beyond this point. I wish I had the chance to take psychology back in high school and college. If I did, perhaps, I would know what "phase" I am in now...?

I don't know much about what's going on inside. I just know that perhaps acceptance is the answer. Or perhaps just simply being indifferent to life itself. I know that these feelings or thoughts are really not who I am, but then again, who am I to say who I am... after all, a crazy person would never call himself crazy... only a sane people would ever call himself crazy. I'm crazy. There... I'm not really crazy... so, don't stop reading my blog. :) On second thought... who has time to read my blogs? Me. :T

SIGH... Stoic.

I overwhelmingly feel this emotion when I'm at work or when I'm alone. I can't seem to be able to tap into that "happier inner me" these days. Normally taking a walk and simply enjoying the surroundings is enough to make me feel happier, but today's walk along the downtown waterfront didn't do much... I even caught myself wanting to turn back, but since I didn't walk for at least 30 minutes... I noticeably forced myself to take a detour.

Am I depressed? Maybe. Depressed about what? Everything..? Why do I feel teary eyed now? Not sure. Gotta drop by the restroom... screw it... I ain't crying...

Am I unhappy about something? Not really. There's nothing that sticks out and shouts "unhappy" to me. Oohh... stoic. Perhaps secretly I've become *a* stoic (used as a noun this time).

I think that's it. How fascinating. I didn't even need to attend the "Stoic School of Philosophy" and I've passed with flying colors of the rainbow. hmm... bad humor.. sigh... be stoic to that...

Being a stoic and feeling stoic kinda unmotivated me in writing in this blog. The last real blog was May 22nd... almost a month ago. I actually attempted to write a few times in the recent weeks, but writer's block took over each time I launched blogger. So, does it mean that I'm no longer stoic since I'm blogging now? Interesting. Maybe I'm using my subconscious mind to think as I consciously type. Hmm... don't know if that's possible... damn... psychology class... damn...

Stoic... fuck it... I feel like a pebble.

DiFara's - Closed AGAIN

hmmm.. I guess not eating at DiFara's was a good choice last time... check my previous blog on their health department violations.


NY Times Article